Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
