you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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