Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
