i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
