he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
