just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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