we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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