then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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