it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize