Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
