i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
