Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
