Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
