people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
