We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I am naked and annoyed.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
