very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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