she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
