I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
