on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
