using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize