Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
