dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
