i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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