But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
