In the future we'll all be gay
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
