elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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