The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
