where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
