i just google imaged poop.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
