Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
