I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
