The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
