its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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