Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
