New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
