I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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