youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's never too late to be topless.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
