have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
