pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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