wat bout pragnant strippers??
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize