Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
