**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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