So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
