This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
