he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
