Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
