I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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