another moral hangover. fuck.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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