i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
