garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
