You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
