So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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