thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
