I think my vagina is haunted
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Terrible idea I love it
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
