i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
