its not stalking. its research.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize