Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
