so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
