Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
