I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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