I hope mine doesn't look like that
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
