i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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