We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
