Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
40s are totally the cure
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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