I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
smell my finger.
birth control should be required to get into college
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
