Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Randomize
