I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
