i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
